I think I'm eating too much! (even without bingeing)

Even though I fought the urge to binge on candy yesterday, I feel I ate too much. I got home from the city and was starving. I intended to wait on my husband for dinner but found myself chowing on popcorn, pepperoni and cheese (you think it would be filling but it's not) and then steak. After 2 Valentine drinks I felt the need to eat ritz crackers(which are delicious, almost a delicacy) before bed. I will be going to the gym today to do cardio and yoga. I must have been stressed because I dreamed about smokers smoking in my house, inviting people to a party 2 hours before it started (having not shopped for food) and when our alarm went off to take the kids to an outing, I panicked thinking I had school, forgetting it was the weekend. So stress may have been a factor in last night's eating.

This morning I ate 1/2 of a bagel with butter and 1/2 with American Cheese (one of my many favorites) and when will I have it again. I also ate 2 or 3 sausages. These are both "forbidden" foods. I am wondering if it is wise to have a "forbidden food" list. I never eat these in front of my husband unless I let him know what I am up to. As I am writing this I realize that that is a problem. I don't need his permission! I need to work through that. It is the same way with my mother. She will make comments as well, so I avoid eating unhealthy stuff in front of her. This must be the problem with us closet eaters. As we primly eat our healthy salads, our larger sizes tell the truth. We eating healthy for show and then cram the "forbidden" stuff in the car, the pantry, the privacy of our homes. I need to be up front with myself and others about my eating. I need to just eat like a normal person. Normal people don't eat in hidden places. I need to stop judging others and stop allowing myself to be judged!

Also, I keep putting time limits. When I will begin eating healthy. Dates by which I need to be thin. Also a problem.

Key learning: Research how to deal with stress! Be open about my eating and food choices. Stop with the time limits!